We received a breathless fund-raising email from Peter Roskam last Monday. Apparently his huge stash of corporate cash is not sufficient for him to buy enough attack ads this fall to crush his unfunded grass roots Democratic opponent and he needs to beg his constituents for their hard-earned dollars so that he can return to Washington and vote against any bill that might actually help them. Here is the way Roskam’s message began:
The Democrats are out of control. Never in my life did I anticipate serving in a Congress that is poised to take over 1/6 of our nation’s economy through the procedural slight-of-hand known as reconciliation. With the Democrats’ passage of the Senate bill in the House of Representatives, the stakes for our country have gotten even higher. But the fight to defend our healthcare system from a government takeover is far from over – in fact, it has just begun.
Because that is what this election year will be – a fight against a Democrat political machine powered by liberal “back room” politics and I believe Americans like you and I have seen enough. We’re tired of watching the Administration cut deals with members of Congress to secure votes on a health care bill that the vast majority of Americans know to be irresponsible, misguided, and even harmful. Here in the Illinois 6th district, we know dirty Chicago politics when we see it, and it’s time to put an end to this madness.
Just a tad over-dramatic, no? We think Roskam should at least get some sort of literary award for fitting so many slurs into two short paragraphs. Roskam is, of course, ridiculous. There is no government takeover of healthcare, only an insurance regulation bill that will float a lot of new business to the insurance companies. Reconciliation is a parliamentary technique that Roskam’s own Republican party has used repeatedly when they held the majority. And Roskam’s Democratic opponent this fall can only wish that he had the support of a “democratic political machine” – he is, so far anyway, pretty much dependent on a small band of volunteers from the district who are fed up with Roskam’s obstruction and bullshit. If you want to see a political machine, look instead to the Republicans who control Du Page County Government and the big corporations like Exelon and Bank of America who fund Roskam’s campaigns in expectation of influence over his votes on environmental legislation and banking regulation.
Anyway, we got a smile when we received a fundraising email in response from Roskam’s opponent, Ben Lowe of Wheaton. Bent sent this out on April 1st and his message displays a great deal of plucky humor approopriate to the day:
Hi, I thought I should introduce myself.
My name is Ben Lowe.
I’m the out-of-control, liberal, left-wing, big-government, backroom deal-cutting, game-playing, dirty Chicago politician, engaged in a hostile, irresponsible, misguided, harmful, insane government takeover of health care, that your Congressman, Peter Roskam, warned you about in his recent fund-raising letter.
My naive mother is crushed to learn what I have become since I left the gentle protections of her tender bosom, for the corrupting influence of Wheaton College, the twisted machinations of suburban Wheaton, and the left-wing radicalism of a Midwestern evangelical church. My pastor-father cannot figure out where he went wrong! It must be the extreme liberalizing result of Wheaton College’s student life policies, with its exuberant embrace of swing dancing. Or perhaps the consequence of a nature-goddess worshiping environmental-studies college major and profession. Or maybe the effect of a socialist-inspired radical experiment in communal living among the drug-addled, prostitution-riddled projects of blighted Wheaton and Glen Ellyn.
Fortunately for you, Congressman Roskam is not alarmist, but reasonable, commonsensical, and conservative.
Albeit hard-up for funds. After all, he currently has only $547,000 or so left in his campaign war-chest after spending as much on an uncontested primary, and that may not be enough when stacked up against my whopping $2,000 campaign account balance. It certainly is not enough to finance limitless television and radio ads, and a steady stream of life-enhancing robocalls. Donate big, donate often, for the free government postage granted to Washington politicians, the free publicity generated by news media interviews, and the other perks of incumbency are not enough to overcome the threat that I pose to our town, our district, and our American way of life.
This is going to be a tough race. True, Obama won this district with 56% of the vote. And though his national approval rating has fallen to 46%, one can never be too careful in defense of our country from liberal political schemes and harmful government borrowing and spending (which are immeasurably more insidious than the private-sector plagues of deregulation-induced, recession-causing, finance-industry implosions of our economy, or the oil-and-power-company pollution of our environment, the health-industry abuse of the uninsured poor, or the lawyer-enriching tort-cases with enormous verdicts against medical professionals).
Health care reform, in particular, has progressed at break-neck pace in the century since that radically-liberal, communist-inspired, former-Republican Teddy Roosevelt first proposed it in 1912, along with his other nefarious strategies, such as occupational safety, child-labor laws, minimum wage, and Sundays off.
We’ve got to slow this speeding snail before it breaks the sound barrier!
Now is the time for incremental reform!
I urge you to reduce government spending today by contributing to Congressman Roskam’s campaign fund!
Or join us instead, and help bring reason and common sense back to congress. We cannot win without your support.
Yours,
Ben Lowe
Advocate for informed political debate
Democrat for Congress, 6th District Illinois
Ben is a fine person. We’ve met him. We’ve read his book. We are certain he would make an excellent Representative for the 6th District. If you are tired of the Republican obstruction and corporate money that is crippling our nation’s ability to cope the very serious problems it faces, please consider giving your time and/or money to help Ben’s campaign.








